So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Soap is not a condiment
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
sex in a hospital.. check
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
