So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
