Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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