...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
