All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
