Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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