He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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