I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Randomize
