At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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