That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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