They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
why do cheetos always look like penises
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize