The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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