So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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