i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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