you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
