i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Randomize
