You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Randomize
