I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
