he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
