I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
false alarm. still invincible.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
