im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
