i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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