i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well I just put wine in my tea
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
