Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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