Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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