Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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