Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
