I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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