so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
