I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
