i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
