im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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