A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
