Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
