I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
