I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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