pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
