i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize