I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
