i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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