moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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