Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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