we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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