Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
