One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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