Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
