Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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