Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize