She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
