i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
please come you make the beer taste better
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
