You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
its liver damage thursday
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
