We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
