So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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