She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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