So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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