Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
