She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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