if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
