Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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