He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
